New Garden Trends that Suck

I consider myself a fairly open minded person, and I give every new garden trend a chance, if something can be proven more efficient and a better use of my time or space, I will convert. My bottom line is efficiency, and I'm not very stubborn about it, results are typically the single biggest factor that matters to me. However, If something is not ascetically pleasing enough for my wife, her voice would eventually wear me down to a stub, and then I'll change it anyway. This is my exception to the previously mentioned statute, and I suggest following my lead.

Things that suck:

1. Raised Beds Suck - As I converted from a tilled earth old school model to raised beds, I noticed how I didn't like being able to exclusively use my hoe and had to keep bending over to weed. I found that I actually liked hoeing my garden, and even missed it. Add to it the fact that I had to trim mow around the beds, and it just wasn't worth it to me. Removing the beds added more space via in the between the walking lanes, which I can reuse as growing surface.

2. Upside Down Growing Sucks - To me, this is completely stupid. I gave it a try, and what you end up with is a weaker plant that needs watered twice as much. It's more high maintenance and simply not worth the effort. My Tomato plants with deep roots in the earth produced 2x as much produce. I credit the success of the upside down growing model exclusively to some marketing geniuses desperate for a concept.Well played assholes, well played.

3. Naming Your Chicken Sucks- The chickens I end up having to keep are the ones that have some type of a damn name attached to them, and then the leverage is properly applied from the wife/son about getting rid of <insert name>. If you want to keep chickens during their prime years, and get rid of them afterwards, do yourself a favor and don't give them a name. My view is that it is a chicken, it has a purpose and a limited usage window, and then I move on to the next bird. It's the cycle of life, a lot of hipsters forget that we are talking about a fucking chicken. Chickens are not dogs, they are not intelligent (stupid actually) loving animals, they have been engineered by human breeding programs to be eaten and lay eggs only. I really enjoy keeping chickens, but let's not get crazy about how replaceable they are.